they put me into a hospital

Sleeping in the same room as your newborn is already a privilege few dads get to experience. But you know me, I like to push my luck in any given arrangement until I am disliked at a steadily increasing incline.

My bed situation, which started off as a pull out cot with comfort issues, turned into a motor controlled rocketship headed for hospital vacation happiness, at the inverse of my welcome guest status..

And for me, this is just fine. There is no other way..

The first nurse who came in - lets call her "Jody" - appeared aggravated. She was non responsive to our light comments, and a little abrupt on her first visit since the bed heist.

It was then that I first accepted the fast approaching fact that, I soon had some 'splaining to do..

"Jody" came back five minutes later kicking dust into the room, she whipped the curtain back - and yapped out, "YOU'RENOTSUPPOSED TO BE OVERHERE - THAT BEDS NOTFOR YOU!"

I said "woah now, shhhhhh shhhhh shaa.. easy now. I just want to cuddle my daughter like I should be allowed to and it just aint possible in that ratty ol sailors cot you put me in. This bed was just staring me down from across the room, and, you know, eventually it got the best of me. So I broke down, unplugged it from the wall over there, pulled it over here, plugged it back in, and look. I'm sorry, Joads.. no-one needs this bed right now like I do.."

but, she was still pissed..

"Well, if this other woman comes in tonight like we think shes gonna, then we'll need this bed back."

"and I'll be just the guy to give it up without so much'sa pip then ma'am." big smile..

leaves; door open..

from that point on, whenever the nurse shift change happened, I had to tell my story to a whole new crewing nest of do gooders..

"Your not supposed to be over here with that!"

"I know, I know.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. you see, its just that.." etc, etc..

Three empty rooms with two beds each in em for three nights in a row.. so, I knew that nobody was missing these beds.

eventually, my twisted tune began to change.. as it often does..

"Look, I already talked to Jody about it and she was totally cool with me staying over here in this bed. See, she gave me this blanket to cover it with and everything. Wow, she was right, you guys sure are uppity around here."

God of thunder, I hear your call..